The Best Goat and Sheep Part 1

I've meant to do this for a while, but it's time to introduce you to my favorite individual sheep and goats.  While in the past, I have mentioned my favorite group of farm animals, the baby goats.  I might have discussed the pig Petunia, but she has long since become a temporary fixture on the Old Country Inn's lunch menu.  There are actually two animals in particular I think are pretty great.  One is a sheep and one is a goat and they are both pretty cool.  

This post is actually going to be less inclusive of facts than usual.  The reason for this is that Anne (my landlord/boss's daughter/friend's mom/raiser of sheep and goats) has gone to bed.  My boss has probably been asleep since 8, given that he wakes up at 4.  When I have a question about sheep or goats, either Bill or Anne will have the answer.  I intended to explain the breeds of my favorite sheep and goats, but alas, my internet research only revealed how difficult a task that is.  Without Anne or Bill, I must postpone that part of this discussion.  Even worse, I had to make up the name of the restaurant in which Petunia now resides.  

This is my favorite goat.  I think he is a Thuringian Breed, a German milk goat.  We deliver our best hay to a farm that raises these guys - purebred Thuringian goats.  Compared to the farm I work at, that place is Buckingham Palace - inbreeding to make even Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex jealous.  The rams at this farm have their sperm tested annually to make sure the Thuringian line is still pure.

It's royals like Edward and purebred goats who are going to be first up against the wall when the revolution comes.  

Right.  So why is this particular goat the best goat?  For one thing, he has a goatee.  For another, the fur on his back stands up when he is angry.  See that white goat munching away in the background?  When the white goat fought the best goat, Best Goat's back hair bristled like a mohawk at CBGB for ruminants.  Both goats reared on their hinds legs and clashed horns.  They actually use the base of the horns, so it's more of a coordinated head butt.  

In general, you want to burn off horns when the kids are young.  This is safer for all involved, but if you do it wrong, you end up with horns like Best Goat's, all twisted and stunted.  The base of the horns are still solid, so Best Goat is not defenseless and can hold his own in a fight.  

This guy is the best sheep.  I don't know why, but she tries to eat my gloves ALL THE TIME.  Even if I am literally feeding her and her bros their hay, she will try to eat my gloves.  This batch of sheep is all fat lambs.  Each one weighed about 60 pounds, which is a lot for a youngish lamb (I don't remember how old, but probably about 8 months or so).  I had to pick each one up and put in it in a trailer.  Meanwhile, the fat lazy son of the farmer we bought them from told me their names.  They were all named after singers.  I lifted Celine Dion, Aretha Franklin, and Edith Piaf. I'm going to name the best sheep after Beyoncé.  

That's not because the real Beyoncé regularly nibbles at my Home Depot brand gloves, but because both Beyoncé and this sheep are top of their class.  Beyoncé the woman is both an amazing vocalist and dancer, consistently pushing the boundaries of pop.  Beyoncé the sheep, meanwhile, has gained at least 10 pounds in a week.  


NOTE:  This is part one.  I am going to fact check my assumption that Best Goat is a Thuringian.  I am also going to try and find out the breed of Beyoncé the Sheep.  In Part 2, I will discuss the results and explain the mysterious term "Vermont Sheep."  Finally, I give you an unrelated picture of my boss and some coworkers herding a newborn calf and her mom.